Sun peeked through his window and caresses his unshaved cheek. The chirped of a bird on his windowsill convinced him of a beautiful day ahead . He judged the vacant side of the bed through his half-opened eyes and tried to smoothen the wrinkled sheet which witnessed the wild love-making last night. He yawned and fumbled for his robe to cover his nudity.

“Another lovely hot and sultry day…..”, he smiled and opened the french door of his first story’s balcony. Wrapping himself with robe, he rested his elbows on the metal railings of the balcony. Smile forced a minor crease on his lips when he saw a jogger drenched in her own sweat , walking slowly under his balcony. He could see the back-strap of her bra through her wet shirt and her cotton shorts seemed to be stuck in the cleft of her posterior. His eyes were fixed on the rhythmic motions of soft round mounds which was poetry to his eyes. His eyes followed the stanzas of ‘the poetry’ till the poetess realized that she had to pull the stuck piece of fabric from her cleft.

This balcony was the chief catalyst in his decision to move with Jane in this apartment.He could get the full view of this beautiful deserted street under his balcony with a couple of street vendors just beneath his balcony. It was his morning ritual to stand here on the balcony and read the poetries with his eyes. His eyes would evaluate the abstractness of his poetries and wring the nectar out of it to start his day. He would call it ‘elixir of life’.

He stood there for another moment ,then he realized his robe was not covering him properly. He tried to pull both sides of robe to cover his naked thighs and stomach.

“Damn, its Jane’s robe. So many times I told her not to buy same-coloured robes…..”, he hissed under his breath and walked into the room baring his tidbits of flesh.

While getting out of his robe, he mused ” How our lives get affected unknowingly by others is still a biggest mystery !! “.

……………………….

She was patiently clipping the dried stalks of flowers at her flower stall, waiting for her regular customers. She saw this beautiful dressed lady walked out of the apartment.

“Have a great day, Ms. Jane.”, she wished her gracefully with a sting of jealousy and looked up at the balcony. All she could see through the iron railings was a sparrow chirping on the windowsill.

This florist’s widow was forced to get into his late husband’s profession by the economic pressure of raising two young kids. The thought of remarrying someone was pushed away with the fear of unknown stepfather for her sons. She was awkward in the skill of arranging flowers according to colours and sizes in the beginning but she learned fast. She also learned fast the skill to keep men away from her life while accommodating her wild thoughts about them. She would smoulder in passion with her thoughts and would make love to her thoughts. Her thoughts were often filled with the images of him standing in the robe in his balcony.

She had seen his flat six-pack abs getting transformed into slight flabby stomach in last two years. She had seen his firm thighs losing tonality in these years but her passion for him never went flaccid. He was standing there with that mysterious look in his eyes which dripped ‘elixir of life’. She looked at her half bared body through the corner of her eyes and she felt the surge of passion in her…..ready to savour the dripping ‘elixir of life’ through his eyes. She would drink him every morning with her eyes for he was the ‘elixir’ of life’ for her.

Then she saw him dashing into the house pulling his robe…….her thirst was quenched and she was all set to face another day in her life. She started arranging flowers in the basket and mused ” How we affect other’s life unknowingly is still a biggest mystery !!“.

She stood there at the doorsteps with moist eyes and he walked towards her morosely with the fact that he would not be seeing her for next five days as she was going out of the town for her business trip. He pulled her closer and gave a light peck on her cheek. His nostrils were filled with the fragrance of artificial chemicals. He tried to smell the real smell of his wife through the layers of powder, cream and paint. He sniffed hard and gave up. The artificial fragrance has encapsulated the real aroma of his wife.

His lachrymose eyes followed the red tail lamp of her car till it converged into a minor speck and eventually disappeared in the darkness.

“Five long doggone days without her aroma…..without her fragrance….”, the thoughts were pushing him towards the threshold of insanity. He was so used to her….her presence……her aroma. He literally fed on her aroma as her aroma was his lifeline. Suddenly five days appeared to him like five centuries. He opened a drawer and picked up an old diary which his wife used to keep and started sniffing the pages of the diary. This diary smelled so much like her. He kept it close to his nose till he appeased his thirst and then he picked up old love letters which his wife had sent him long before the marriage. He picked up smell of his wife’s moods from her letters and the particles of aroma were accumulating and shaping up to the image of his wife. He tried to mingle himself with that image. Suddenly the image started disintegrating and dissolved into nothingness. He knelt down and broke into tears. His mother went upstairs hearing his sobbing and found him knelt down on the floor, sobbing like a kid. She hugged him tightly and started caressing his hairs.

“Mom…five days are too long….I can not stay without her….”, he was still sobbing and hugging like a long-lost kid.

” I know…I know….son. Everything will be ok….calm down….,” She said with uncertainty.

“Mom…can you call her and ask her to come early, please.”, he slurred.

“I’ll definitely try….ok…now calm down….let’s go down for dinner now. ok “, she said with intense calmness.

…………………………

“Doctor, I’m sorry I had to call you up at this hour but he’s having schizophreniform disorder again. This time he thinks his wife’s alive and she’s gone out on business trip for few days.”, She spoke into the plastic piece and felt relieved after letting it out.

“I can understand that. I suggest you give him two pills of clozapine after the dinner and I expect you to bring him tomorrow to my clinic. Just call up before coming. ok….Mrs kapoor.”, He said in one breath.

She kept the phone down and looked at his son who was staring into nothingness. The old lady hugged him tightly knowing that how he must have felt after the tragic death of his wife in an accident even though it’d been only two years.

I mustered up some remnants of my dormant motivation and dragged myself out of the bed. I gulped down a cup of hot tea to warm up my oesophagus and dispel the chimera. By now I had a premonition of how my day would shape up; but I thought of challenging it by doing something worthwhile.  So, I made mental notes to pick up Christmas gifts for my daughter from Wal-Mart and then have a hair-cut. I dashed to Wal-Mart with the thought that it’s “Black Friday” and I might not get all the items. Much to my chagrin, everything in the flyer was sold out by the time I reached there.  The next predicament ready to assimilate me was my experience with the coiffure who claimed to be connoisseur of locks. He , who reminded me of Sweeney Todd, beckoned me to his chair to unleash his 30 years of experience in cutting hairs on me. After 20 minutes of ordeal and $15 later, my reflection in the mirror reminded me of a punk who had put his finger in the electrical socket to get a crazy hair-do. I cursed under the breath as I could have done better job than this at home with my Remington hair clipper. I decided to call it quits and catch some sleep as I was sleep deprived for most of the week. My forty winks were short-lived as my daughter woke me up after one hour of sound sleep as she wanted me to put on her WII console. Ahhhh…………………..

All in all, they say there`s always a silver lining in every darkest cloud. It was pretty true. No matter how my day turned out to be and when I summed it up to put it in this blog, I have managed to break the shackles of Writer`s Block which I`d been going through for past 102 days.

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 23; the twenty-third edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. The theme for this month is FREE.

Stupid it may sound, but the topic ‘free’ given me a chance to list few of my shortcomings in my life. I’m sure you all would agree that writing something in black and white empower oneself to act on it. I just closed my eyes for a few moments and took few deep breaths to calm myself. I focussed on what I need to be freed myself from. I jotted down what came in my mind first without resisting any of these thoughts. In next 90 seconds I had listed down 7 shortcomings which I want to be freed of.

I Folded this paper and put in the envelope with heading ‘things that are weighing me down’. These shortcomings or challenges were latent and dragging me down for so long unknowingly. I strongly feel that most of my stress are originated from these flaws.

Your mind works miraculously when it sees your thoughts in visual form and starts exploring avenues to find right solution of any problem. One of the purpose of the mind is to bring equilibrium in one’s life. I jotted down quickly few action plans to combat these shortcomings. I visualize these shortcomings burning away into ashes and I’m free as a bird to explore the whole sky of opportunities and blessings that the life has to offer. I took the envelope closely to a burning candle.

The envelope started burning magnificently in crimson glory and I’m beginning to feel the shackle which had tethered me to these challenges slowly melting away into oblivion.

Accurate diagnosis of any disease can facilitate the cure in most efficient manner. I strongly feel once you know what need to be done to bring equilibrium in your life, your mind formulates strategy to make it happen. With every inch of envelope turning into ashes brought a sense of freedom.

I held it in my hand till my thumb and index finger no longer bear the heat and then it dropped to the floor and smoulders to ashes. Felt a new freedom surge in myself like a dormant hibernated bear woke up at the helm of spring.

My action plan is in place to combat these shortcomings and it’s been written in black and white too. I promise myself ” No procrastination”. Even though this exercise is long over, the image of burning envelope is deeply engraved in my memory and I can refresh that image at my will. I’m sure this will be a constant reminder of my desire to be freed from these shortcomings.

I’m already feeling free……….can’t wait to feel totally free in real sense though !!

That was 19 years ago, my latent passion had been dormant for 19 long years till one of my co-worker who’s 43 years old had clocked 160 kms a day on a mountain bike and his everyday’s stories about biking managed to tickled my dormant passion for bike. After wrestling with a thought to buy a bike for few weeks, I finally gave up and bought this mountain bike from ‘Canadian tire’ for $199.99 on sale which was usually sold at $ 499.99.

This is Kranked JS2011 model with Shimano derailleur 24 gears and front disc brake. It has very bad reviews online but served me right so far. The only downside was its banana shaped saddle which I have changed to gel saddle to save my ass from getting sored. All-in-all, I took my son along for my first ride in the city and we clocked 20.5 kms. Here’s the map below:

We started our biking from Williams parkway/Chinguacousy rd and hit Etobicoke creek trail. We rested for a while at Gage park before hitting queen st west till Creditview rd. The last couple of kms were really pain-staking as our thighs were burning with the accumulation of lactic acid in them. The highlights of this trip was my 9 years old son first major venture on the road and that’s too 20 odd kms.

My goal is to complete 80 kms in a day on Caledon trailways before this fall. Let’s see if I can do that by then. More updates on next blog.

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 14; the fourteenth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

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                                                Return

He sat on resin-moulded chair with a thump as his legs were really hurting today. He shoved his tote bag between his legs and clutched it hard between his ankles. He closed his eyes momentarily and sniffed the wetness in the air. It’s been raining relentlessly in Mumbai. He questioned his own wisdom to choose this day to go to Nashik. He opened his eyes and scanned the hustle-bustle in the Kalyan station’s waiting room. He observed few gujratis were sitting in a group on spread-out “gujrathi samachar” and savouring the “farsaan” and “khakhra”. Another guy wrapped in towel with shaving-brush in one hand and razor in another dashed out of washroom.

” Who says we Indian take time to acclimatize to new environment? I see a high degree of comfort among Indians,” he mused.

His eyes fixed at a large wet patch on the wall of waiting room and he felt a strange pathological hatred towards that wetness. The colour was badly peeled off from the entire wall. He tried to look around to see something interesting in the room. His eyes shifted downward towards a middle-aged woman who was sleeping to glory with her mouth opened on one of the chair. Suddenly his eyes dilated as he saw a slim face with curly long hair, hanging down on her face like serpents. Her eyes were glued to the “cosmopolitan”. She had thin face with prominent nose and full lips. His eyes refused to part from the beautiful view of this slender girl. The girl took the tissue from her purse and wiped the sweat from her forehead. In the process of wiping she caught his eyes and looked away at the entrance of the waiting room. He tried to pretend that he’s not looking at her. He felt that these moments were bestowed on him by God to make the most of it. Still, an unknown force had tied him to the seat and enhanced his inertia. Suddenly he faced the most insurmountable obstacle in the form of his diffidence which was sprouting its wing and forcing him to stay where he was.

He took out his train-ticket and checked the arrival-time of the train. An abortive attempt to divert his mind.

“Still 25 minutes to go…..,” he thought.

Out of the corner of his eyes, he stared at her and basked in her beauty. He felt he was sucked in the aura of her divinity, from where he might not escape ever. He felt a bond was forming with her which might need an affirmation from her to cement it strongly.

An announcement at station brought him out of his reverie. It was about “Pragati express” which was about to arrive at the station. He summoned up courage and thought of getting friendly with her. Much to his chagrin,girl had put his magazine in her bag and ready to walk out of the waiting room. She was tall and had a sylph like figure. Her pink top was crumpled from the back with sweat and from seating for a longer time. He felt the sand was escaping from his closed fist. She slowed down and cast a glance at him. He felt her eyes were seeking something. She dashed out of the waiting room. He felt his heart pumping adrenalin at ferocious speed. He grabbed his bag and decided to follow her. Smitten by his indecisiveness, he dragged himself slowly towards “Pragati express” and made penultimate attempt to catch her last glimpse. He walked past two train-bogies and train chugged along without any warning. Suddenly he felt he saw a pink-coloured dress in one of the window of the bogie. He started walking briskly along with that bogie and made an attempt to exceed the speed of the train. He finally saw those big brown eyes…….staring at him with stern facial expression. By then, the  train had picked up the speed and all he could see was few serpents swaying out of the window. He stood there dumbstruck and a sense of loss prevailed him. All of sudden, a void was created in his life and milieu was sucked into it. Something has strummed the strings of his passion. He never had such stimulation before. His eyes chased the flickering red light at the back of last bogie and slowly it dissipated in red dot which mingled with the melancholic sunset.

He whispered softly to the wind ” Goodbye to my love which is ended before it’s begun !!”

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 13; the thirteenth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

“Why does it take a minute to say hello and forever to say goodbye?”

Through his lachrymose eyes , Sanjay saw the blurry curvaceous figure of his love. He ran his long slender artistic fingers over the curves and felt love emanating from every pores of the contour. His fingers traced the tail-piece, F-hole and the belly of his lover with burning passion and he knew he would not be able to hold his tears anymore on the threshold of his masculinity. The memories of he holding his lover in his arm and dancing the cosmic dance together on the symphony of Tchaikovsky‘s  ‘ Romeo and Juliet’ was still so vivid in his head that he could recall every vibration in his lover’s body . Sanjay brought his head down on the base of his lover’s slender neck and burst into crying. With the intensity of millions suns on his quivering lips , he kissed the nape of his lover’s neck. All of sudden, his heart was smitten by anguish which was ready to engulf him merciless. His sagacity was clouded and he never felt so confused in his life. Sanjay saw himself trampling over his dreams and followed his father’s dream of being a successor of his father’s corporate empire.

He hugged his petite lover for the last time and put his lover in the  black vinyl padded  coffin very carefully as not to strum any of the four strings accidentally lest his lover might wake up from the deep slumber and make him weak again. The bow was kept by the side of its dormant body and he started ruminating on his lover.

 It has kept him the company after the demise of his mother three months after his 12th birthday when his uncle gifted him with this beautiful violin. His dad’s aloofness and involvement in  his business had helped him to build close proximity to his violin to assuage his loneliness. His father  seized this opportunity to shirk away from his paternal responsibilities and hired a personal teacher to teach music lessons at home, so that he could concentrate on building his conglomerate without focussing on his son’s needs. Sanjay picked up everything what his tutor had to teach. He picked up Mozart, Tchaikovsky, Gershwin, Beethoven and Zubin mehta in no time. When the time to come to make his career of his passion, he landed up as a violinist in Symphony Orchestra of India for three years on a meagre salary. His frustration started building as his father started putting pressure on him to join his business. Eventually he capitulated to his father’s megalomania and suffocated his passion.

He picked up a yellow post-it and wrote in bold letters ” RIP , GOODBYE MY LOVE ” and put it on the case. Instead of burying the padded coffin, he started climbing the stairs of his attic and kept the case in the attic. A last long look followed by welling of tears in his eyes and his lips move to utter one last inaudible word ” GOODBYE”.

Scattered limbs embalm with gore and blood,
Charred bodies fuses together like Siamese twins;
Shattered eardrums and torn flesh,
Narrates the gory tales of massacre;
Blood-red carpet welcomes hatred,
Foot-prints in it make mockery of freedom;

Cataract-smitten eyes fixes on ajar-doors,
A never-ending wait for her bread-winner;
Half-asleep kid transfix his gaze at old clock,
Awaits his mentor to put him to sleep;
Belle smiles at her reflection in the mirror,
Secret in her womb will be shared tonight;

Many hopes,aspirations and dreams,
Shatter in those unfortunate metal-rooms;
Question the incapacitate mind of the script writer,
And the director of this saga;
A defeated purpose which attracts millions of curses,
And sighs of suffering souls.

———Binzy