He felt the sensation of her well manicured nails on his chest and his hips were clutched in vice-like grips of her thighs. He heard moaning-not sure if it was his or her. She had the wilderness of the wolf and she was reading his mind as wolf would read its prey’s. Their eyes locked and they knew they would burst in orgasmic pleasure soon. He slowly closed his eyes to savour the moment. The pain on his chest became acute. He forced his eyes opened to see the luminous alpha female wolf on his bare body with her blunt nails dug deep in his chest. The yellow eyes of her, dripped with love, beckoned him to join her spirits. He felt he was losing his form and being sucked in her golden yellow eyes.
He woke up with his heart beating rapidly and sweat all over his forehead. He couldn’t believe that this had not happened in reality. He examined his chest…..not a scratch. Merely a dream…..then dream carries the messages from the spirits.
“May be my mind is playing tricks on me….”, he mused.
Thoughts were howling at the distant corner of his mind. He couldn’t sleep a bit for the rest of the night. He felt golden yellow eyes were staring at him through the veil of darkness.
He paced towards the elevator to reach office on time lest he might put his job in jeopardy. Deadlines , stress, mundane routine, bills, meager paycheck……..slavery to all. He’d been slaved to his own shadow for all these long years. He often felt that his desires….his passions were rotting beneath the layers of his effort to make both ends meet. Sometimes, the stench of his slowly-rotting passions were so acute, that he’d throw up or ended up with a nasty migraine.
He remembered writing “50 things to do before I die” in one of the corporate training program, some 12 years ago.He still carried that dog-eared yellow sheet of paper. This morning he gave a scornful look to that sheet,as it was evaluating the quality of his life.
He’d been timid for most of his last 12 years. Timidity and insecurity were the two filters, he would see his life through. The ultimate purpose of his life was to lead it towards security. A security of love, security of finance, security of social-status, security of friends and relatives……..the quest for security was so predominated in every aspects of his life, he didn’t realise life slipping through his closed fist like sand grains with each passing moment .
He sat morosely on his obusform chair and stared blankly at the flickering monitor. All he could see was the golden eyes of wolf staring back at him. This time he met the gaze of wolf and he admired what he saw in it. He saw his own soul. There was no fear. There was immense freedom.
“Look…you can not do that…..you have been with us for more than 6 years now”, his boss was edgy and hysteric.
“I have already given it a thought……”, he said assertively,looking deep into the eyes of his boss. In some way, he was enacting the wolf in him. His boss sensed the perseverance of a wolf in him.
“You know this organization need you now more than ever. I have a proposal for you.Here how it goes– you go on sick leave for one week and then go on short term disability for 8 weeks. I can manage things here with HR dept……you know what I mean…like raise in pay, promotion…..”, his boss had said everything in one breath.
“Sure,the proposal worths pondering over……I’ll see you in two months”, he muttered under his breath and felt like ripping his chest apart with his paws.
“He never felt this way for me in last 6 years and now all of sudden……”, he howled at his thought and took one last look at his prison where he had imprisoned his passions and desires.
He felt her body moving slowly over his , while her long straight hairs brushed against his chest rhythmically. Her face shone beautifully in the light of full moon which emanated through the window. He closed his eyes to feel her soul in his heart. With the sensation of furs on his body, he slowly opened his eyes to see the luminous alpha female wolf with golden eyes beckoning his spirit to meet hers on the astral plane. He felt like an alpha male wolf and his dissolving forms being sucked in the golden eyes. Their spirits entwined like serpents on a banyan branch and his spirit had a kiss of life.
He woke up from his dream with a smile. He felt the wilderness of wolf inside him. He felt the long-lost freedom stirred again in him. He never felt so secure in his life. Perhaps running away from the security was the only security ever known to the mankind. He felt he has just grown up and his journey of last 12 years only culminated in rediscovering himself with letting go off his spirits. He reached under his pillow for his yellow dog-eared sheet of his plan and started working on it.